Day 1: Thursday, August 31

After a super-stressful evening at work, we finally left JC just after 8pm. The 5 hour drive was pretty uneventful except for an odd game of androgynous abc that was totally ruined by the Doctor of Funk. (Androgynous ABC is a game where you pick a name beginning with A that could be male or female, then the next person picks the next letter of the alphabet and does the same.) My only wrong turn was leaving Greeneville, SC. There's something about that town that confuses the heck out of me.

It was just after midnight when we pulled up to the Hyatt in Atlanta. The parking garage was full, but I parked in an AmeriPark a few blocks over that was much cheaper.

Once settled in the room, I mixed a drink in one of the 25 32oz. styrofoam cups we brought and headed down to revisit the hotel. The smoking deck was again the hub of the con. As Met, Dr of Funk, and Astrocomical smoked, I hung out and marvelled over the fact that I had finally arrived for four days of much needed relaxation.

The next few hours flew by and we all ended up going to bed around 3am. We were as excited as childern waiting for Christmas Day to come, although our Christmas day would involve Klingons and girl with wings!

Guided by a photocopied brochure we found at the visitor's center for an authentic Irish pub, we crossed the river bridge in Chattanooga. Our logic was that since this was the only photocopied brochure amid an entire room of slick, professional literature, this much be an authentic local place!

The walking bridge that crosses the Tennessee River is magnificent. It's an old traffic bridge that was shut down some time ago, and it now is a convenient passage to the city park and a college-strip street filled with neat boutiques selling all kinds of trinkets from a pet treat bakery to a funky head shop.

It was a short walk from the bridge to our destination: Durty Nelly's. It was in an old shopping center tucked into a corner as gaudy as a great pub should be. Green and yellow, it wasn't hard to spot.

Entering Durty Nelly's we were impressed, but slightly disappointed. The inside was more like a Bennigans than a pub, but the staff was friendly and the bar was impressive. We were shown to our table by a lady who was presumably the owner, since she seemed to be fussing over everyone. She was nice, outgoing, eager for us to have a good time.

Our server was Andy: actor, man about town. Andy had given Los Angeles a try for a while, seeking acting jobs and trying hard to make it. Once money and prospects ran out, he ended up back in Chattanooga. Andy was a good guy, he gave us tips about things to see around town. Looking over his shoulder, he recommended we try The Hair of the Dog Pub. We laughed and told him that it was the Hair of the Dog that had inspired us to search out another great pub.

Well...this wasn't a great pub.

The place was friendly and had a fairly typical beer selection. Inspired by the fish and chips at the Hair of the Dog, Metaphore ordered them while I went with the Shepherd's Pie. Astrocomical had a burger.

According to Astro, the burger was fine. It's hard to make a burger wrong. Nothing special, but it was good.

The shepherd's pie that I ordered was somewhat of a disappointment. I was expecting a tasty chunk of meat with cabbage and garlic mashed potatoes, but what I got was some home cooking. The potatoes were normal creamy mashed potatoes and the stew was a cheap grade of hamburger with peas, carrots, and potates in a gravy. The gravy was tasteless making the veggies the primary flavor. I can't say that I didn't like it, but for almost $9, I expected more.

The supreme disappointment was Metaphore's fish and chips. The fish was a nice thick cut battered fairly well, but the chips were actually POTATO CHIPS! Granted, they were made in house, but they were over cooked and unsalted.

Not being the kind of guy who sends things back, Met stuck it out. He would later probably wish he had. We shared entrees, I had a little bite of his fish and he had a taste of my shepherd's pie. He and I agreed that the potato chips ruined the dish. Andy overheard us and sent the owner over. She said that they had once served french fries with the fish, but the regulars preferred the potato chips. She said that they had a bag of fries in the freezer that they could cook. This was pretty much it for our enjoyment of Durty Nelly's. Frozen fries horrified us. With these prices, they could at least peel some damned potatoes.

Wanting to end dinner on a high note, I ordered the bread pudding that had caught my eye on the little brochure in the visitor's center. It was absolutely delicious. A fine, fine dessert.

Disillusioned, we set off for downtown again, but this time we wanted to take the new water taxi across the river. We wandered around the park (I actually stopped and ogled the carousel in the middle for some time)and never found the water taxi dock. Now doubly irritated, we set out across the bridge again.

Downtown, we walked down a couple blocks and turned to head back towards the river (and the van.) Just before the parking lot, we found a place we should have visited much earlier in the day.

Lupi's Pizza Pies is a fine little eclectic pizza joint downtown in Chattanooga. They had a two sided counter in the middle of the entryway for customers to sit at. At every booth, and down the arboreally decorated bar, there were metal paper-towel dispensers that served brown institutional paper towels. The lighting was grouped into cloud shaped boards painted with a cloudy finish. It was eclectic, colorful and fun, but I had to know what the food was like.

I ordered a slice of pepperoni. Oh my god...

All over the place were signs stating that they tried to gather ingredients from local sources around Chattanooga and that they take the money that would go into advertising into local schools. I could taste the difference.

The pizza was baked in a brick oven, but it was the ingredients that made the pizza great. It tasted like a fresh italian pizza should. Bright, flavorful, crispy crust. Incredible. I can't wait until January's Chatta-Con when I can go back and have a whole pie! HIGHLY recommended!

With that high (we were all already stuffed, but the pizza was SO good we HAD to try it,) we left Chattanooga for snoozeville, Tennessee. Unfortunately, for one of us, the experience wasn't over.

It was late and something woke me up. Suddenly, I heard it again. Someone was throwing up in the bathroom. It was a short series of some of the most violent retching that it has ever been my misfortune to hear. I knew that Astro had often had digestive problems, but in the darkness, I couldn't see who wasn't accounted for. After a short while, the sounds disappeared and all I could hear was running water.

When I raced to the bathroom a couple hours later, whoever it was had gone back to sleep.

The next morning, Met looked like hell. He had busted a blood vessel in each eye, his eyes were filled with blood. Later on that day, I'd notice bruising around the sockets. The fish at Durty Nelly's had taken a terrible toll on him. He was miserable and sick and we had a morning of driving followed by an afternoon of work ahead of us. I had gotten a lighter dose that night, but I had my own lower intestinal irritation that night, I would be fine.

Fortunately, he was a trooper and he pushed through the day. We arrived back in JC that night a little more appreciative of where we lived that we probably had been before the trip began.

We got started around 9am with a free breakfast in the hotel lobby. It was pretty good, not just donuts and coffee, they had eggs, biscuits, and sausage among other items.

The Trip to Cleveland State Community College took about 5 minutes, the work we had to do there took about 2 hours. By noon we were done with the prospect of nearly a full day to kill.

After returning to the room to watch a little more Telemundo and Celebrity Fit Club, we set out to Chattanooga. It wasn't a bad drive, in 30 minutes we were passing the Chattanooga Choo Choo and were shortly parked near the Tennessee Aquarium.

First stop: Taco Mac. I had been here once before with Jim and Ruth last January. Taco Mac is a pretty good bar downtown on Market Street. They serve alot more than just tacos, but to begin my tasty oddyssey of Chattanooga, I ordered one beef and one chicken hard-shell. Man! The beef taco was big and tasty, it was heartily seasoned with cumin and came with a great house picante sauce. It was one of the best tacos I've ever had. After that, the chicken taco was kind of bland and tasteless, but still good.

Next: A brief walk around the block to see what there was to see. We walked around the aquarium and browsed the visitor's center (blessed air conditioning.) The heat was getting to us, so with some brochures and and a strategy we were on our way to The Hair of the Dog Pub!
The Hair of the Dog Pub is in an OLD building that kind of sticks out from the more modern facades around it. It's small, unassuming, with windows tinted so dark that we couldn't see the open sign until we were at the door.

Inside, was a different era. A well worn bar, old, but cared for tables, antique cieling fans and a staff that makes you feel totally welcome make The Hair of the Dog one of the best Irish Pubs I've ever been to, but it gets better! For a couple hours we sat around socializing, then I coudn't stand it anymore...I had to order some food. The menu was humorous and a delight to read, I chuckled at several of the side notes and irreverant descriptions of the dishes, but the bottom like was this was some serious pub food! Bangers and mash, Cottage Pie (Shepherd's Pie without Lamb,) fish and chips, meatloaf, along with some more standard burger fare made my decision difficult, but it's with great joy that I can report that I ordered the fish and chips.

Now, I've had fish and chips in many "Irish" pubs. In most, you get the same thing, a frozen fish fillet and frozen french fries dropped in oil and served with canned tartar sauce. Not here!!! This was a fresh fish fillet covered in a batter made on site, the tartar sauce was made on premises, and the french fries...oh my god...the french fries were magical. They were cut fresh, cooked a bit crisp and covered in a garlic seasoning salt. I have honestly never had better french fries in my entire life. This was one of those great moments when I actually found something good enough to set the bar for any other version of the dish I ever try. Simply amazing. I could have eaten another basket (and would later wish I had.)

The scorching sun went behind the clouds while we were in Hair of the Dog, so we left and set out on the longest trek in our adventure. We were going to cross the river and seek out another Irish Pub with a clever name. We were going to find Durty Nelly's and eat bread pudding. Little did we know that this might be the biggest disappointment we would see.

Continued when I get some more time....