In Which the Ringmaster Expresses His Displeasure in the Paranormal Industry

I'm off work, it's late and my mind is wandering. I've been randomly searching the internet while watching The Black Dahlia.

My Google subject of the night: Paranormal Industries

You know what I mean, ghost hunters, ghost tours, hotels and businesses that are haunted.

First, let me say up front that I don't dismiss ghost sightings. I have a complex theory on why people see ghosts that I won't bore you with today. Suffice it to say, I don't doubt first hand accounts of people that don't seem to have anything to gain by witnessing a sighting.

However, my complex theory doesn't include ghosts as a physical entity. In other words, I believe that if you try to scientifically prove that there's a ghost in the room and you will come up with nothing every time. Okay, I admit, my theory is just as valid as the people who believe that every building on the ETSU campus is haunted, but at least my theory accounts for the lack of evidence and leaves me open to accepting proof otherwise.

Okay...back to my point.

Ghost Tours are generally full of crap. If you live in Boston or Tombstone, Arizona, then sure a ghost tour is a fun ride for the tourists, but a ghost tour of Johnson City, TN is really reaching. I've lived here all my life and for the last twenty years or so, I've studied the history of my hometown. I feel that I'm pretty knowledgeable of it's history. So when tours promote ghosts here and there that are based on hearsay and rumors, I get irritated. Make a buck off your tours, but damn, Sideshow Bob, let's at least get our HISTORY right! It's like feeding the marks merangue without the pie.

Paranormal Investigators are full of crap. Generally, to be a Paranormal Investigator, one has to begin with a belief that the paranormal exists and can be measured. Generally, (watch the load of poop that is Ghost Hunters on SciFi)these believers go in looking for evidence to support their conclusion because if they relied on the measurements and the evidence, they would close up shop pretty quick because they NEVER FIND ANY PROOF.

Haunted businesses are full of crap. Especially haunted hotels. When I was in high school, I ran around Jonesborough with a video camera and a notebook and tried to collect any evidence at all that ghosts existed. What I did learn from the dozen or so conflicting stories and rote recitations of phenomena is that haunted hotels attract customers (especially in Jonesborough.) Likewise, a haunted downtown attracts tourists to shops and a haunted landmark into a stronger tourist attraction.

However, in my curiosity, I've met many individuals with nothing to sell, nothing to prove, nothing to gain, that have described several things that I can't explain. Truly paranormal, unexplainable stuff from credible people that I've known for years. Still, I can't just accept it. I have to examine it, see proof before I ever become a Believer.

I want to believe their stories, their proof, but I can't accept anything without corroberation or evidence. It's just not in my nature to believe unconditionally, but I'm willing to investigate and follow the evidence wherever it leads.